I have been very nostalgic this week. It’s Sawyer’s fault. He has fallen in love with Disney’s The Little Mermaid, so Ariel’s voice has been souring through my house almost non-stop. The Little Mermaid is the first movie I remember seeing in the movie theater. My mama bought me a cassette tape of the soundtrack, so Luke and I would put that in my little tape player and act out the entire movie to the music all around our house. Those were truly delightful and carefree times.
I was in that nostalgic mood at church on Sunday when the worship team started playing “I Want to Know You More.” Immediately I was taken back to high school when I sang that song with the youth group worship team. It was a new song then, and we loved it! Those were sweet and simple times.
So while singing that song in a flurry of memories, I wondered if I longed to go back in time--to the wonder of childhood or the self-discovery of adolescence, to a time when death and cancer had not permeated my horizons. And instantly I knew that I wouldn’t go back. I had an epiphany. My joys and my sorrows are so intimately interwoven that I wouldn’t know how to extract the sorrow without unraveling the joy. I can’t say that I’m glad my mom suffered and that I’m battling cancer; in fact, those two things cause me intense pain on many levels. But I am immeasurably grateful for my life today...every part of it. And I believe that my joys would not be as sweet without the presence of my sorrows.
May you feel loved by our creator when you look at the tapestry of your life: the hardships, grief and pain sewn inextricably together with the triumphs, celebrations and peace.